As I'm sure most of you (or at least most of my friends) know, I am a huge fan of Paramore. I was so happy that I was seeing them live at Jingle Ball that I almost started crying. While I didn't actually start listening to them until "Decode" came out, I'm so obsessed that someone might think that I was the very first one in line to buy their first album.
Yesterday, I found out that Josh and Zac farro are leaving the band.
The first thing I saw about it was a comment on one of their music videos on Youtube. It said something about them not being in the band anymore, and what happened was interesting. My mind completely ignored it, rejecting even the slightest possibility that it might be true. Later I saw another comment saying something about how Paramore "wasn't gone, but it wouldn't be the same," and I had no idea what the person was talking about. I honestly think my brain just hid the information because I didn't want to accept it.
Later, Lily and I were on the Hayley Fashion website, and I started reading the Paramore weekly update. When I read that the brothers were leaving, I didn't know what to do. My mind went blank, and I went to the Paramore website and read the latest blog post. We both started crying. Lily left the room to get Emma (who had gone to my room to watch Doctor Who), and when she walked in, she asked, "Are you okay?!" and hugged me.
"At least you got to see them in concert before those two left," she'd told me. That's true. It makes me both happy and sad that it was the first and last time I'd get to see all five of them perform together.
I made a playlist of every single one of their songs and started playing them very loudly. I even thought about posting a sign outside the door that said "Mourning over Josh and Zac leaving Paramore. Please don't disturb." I remember being a little nervous about listening to My Heart, because I was afraid that when Josh started screaming, I'd break down, and I had to try really hard not to cry when I heard All We Know.
I know that the brothers left because touring was hard, and I'm happy for them because they can relax now, so I'm not going to complain about how I wish that they would stay. All I can do is simply listen to their songs and be happy that Paramore, as a whole, is still a band.
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